Weekend alone

Well this weekend has been a bit of a hard one.... I always look forward to Cal's drill weekends because as much as I love being with him it gives us a chance to remember how much we appreciate each other when we are apart. These are the weekends where I am extra excited to make plans with friends and family. Not because I don't love making plans when Cal is around, it is just nice to have the one on one time with friends when he is gone. I feel like my friends love when Cal is around but there are always things that go unsaid...girl talk is called girl talk for a reason! So anyways...back to this weekend...Cal's drill weekend. I really really really look forward to spending the majority of my-husband free-because of drill weekends-with Tessa. I have been sooo spoiled that she has been here on those weekends and is always up for any and all adventures that we can come up with. This weekend was to be no exception---we had garage sales, gardening, movies and shopping on the list. Butttt my bestest friend Tessa needed to go home at the last minute (to WI). ---> Me Pouting <--- Tessa being gone is a great reminder for me about how much I love spending time with her and need to not take her for granted. I am left looking at a weekend that I was so looking forward to in a negative way.... I am trying to stay positive to encourage myself to do things that I like to do by myself....but it is hard.

Reflection time/why this is a good thing for me to go through---this gives me an even greater appreciation for the loved ones in my life that I normally spending time with. I appreciate my husband so much, I have so much fun when he is around, I can't explain or put into words how great our time is together, but it is always hard when he is gone. I am so blessed to have amazing friends here, Tessa and Beckie have been my outlets my support and beyond great friends for me. I am sad/mad/poopy at myself that I am not able to just be happy alone...I mean it is only one weekend. This weekend I have kept busy doing things that I really love doing but I don't feel as happy as I usually do... What will I do when I move away from Ann Arbor and don't have Tessa or Becks or my other friends around to hang out with???? Friends a such a great support but how do you make friends in the real world when you start over in a new place with a real job and don't know anyone??? I am scared!

My mistakes---getting too set on plans (I know I tend to do this), not being flexible, not having a back up plan (I know I could have gone to garage sales by myself but who wants to do that when you are used to having a buddy to go), not making other plans.

My pouting---BUT STILL I wish I could be happy by myself. I wish Tessa could always be here. And I guess I wish that Cal didn't have to be gone.

My goals---appreciate Cal/Friends/Family more. Don't take for granted that I only have one more year left in Ann Arbor with my friends here. Try to be happy even if I am by myself.